


Finding Someone;

by tmntransformer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, Pining, but this is sappy as all heck, only small amounts of pining tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9466706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmntransformer/pseuds/tmntransformer
Summary: Patches of light reach him first – a clear sky fast-fading into orange, a shock of red falling through fingers, the softest brown eyes – scratches of sound splinter through shortly after, and all of them echo strangely, ringingNoyawarmlyNoya-sanin his ears.~ ~ ~Nishinoya meets Tanaka when he’s seven years old and already has too much energy than he knows what to do with...





	

**Author's Note:**

> so about 12,000 years ago i signed up for the tanakazine 2016 that @killuazcldyck put together and started writing this... i realised when i hit the 5k mark that it wasn't going to be able to fit & abandoned it & kinda forgot all about it ƪ(‾ε‾“)ʃ ...until now 
> 
> it was like 2am and i'm a mess so i thought WHY NOT finish it ?? (inspiration strikes me at the weirdest times orz) so that's what i did ?? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (now it's after 4am, such larks!)
> 
> ♡ dedicated to team tananoya because they're cute & also to all tananoya shippers because they're cute too !! ♡

Patches of light reach him first – a clear sky fast-fading into orange, a shock of red falling through fingers, the softest brown eyes – scratches of sound splinter through shortly after, and all of them echo strangely, ringing _Noya_ warmly _Noya-san_ in his ears.

~ ~ ~

Nishinoya meets Tanaka when he’s seven years old and already has too much energy than he knows what to do with. He’s at a street fare with his parents, growling in frustration because no matter what his dad tells him it’s clearly impossible to loop one of those yellow, bobbing ducks onto the hook at the end of this wooden stick; their little grinning duck faces mock him. He escaped his parents somewhere around the soap flowers to sneak back for revenge.

So, he furrows his eyebrows, pokes out his tongue and sucks in a deep breath – his famous Maximum Concentration technique – and whips the stick out behind him dramatically. There’s a loud smack, followed by a not-so-loud thump and a gentle–

“ _Ow._ ” Noya whirls around, apology bubbling up at the tip of his tongue to find a boy about his age and about his height maybe, if he weren’t sprawled on the floor like that, beaming up at him. Blood dribbles down the boy’s chin. His tongue licks along his teeth experimentally and his grin grows wider. His eyes flick down to his open palm and back to Noya’s face. “You knocked out my tooth!”

“Ah!” Noya scrambles onto his hands and knees immediately, poking around in the never-ending amount of pockets in these weird shorts his mum always insists on making him wear. He knows she puts emergency tissues in at least one of these pockets. “I’m sorry! I didn’t see you!” Noya throws a glare over his shoulder at the duck squad, annoyed to find them grinning victoriously back at him.

“Nah, I don’t mind.” The boy wipes his bloodied lip across the back of his empty hand, rubbing that all over his shorts and seemingly unconcerned that all he’s managed to do is spread the blood around. “It was wobbly anyways!” He holds up the tooth towards the moonlight, squinting at it as if it is a precious jewel. “This will surely be enough to appease the Great Fairy.” Noya blinks at him.

“What?” The boy’s eyes dart left and then right. He shuffles closer, voice barely above a whisper.

“My big sister Saeko told me the Great Fairy comes at night and steals all the words from your head!”

“Steals the words from your head?”

“Yeah!” He nods seriously. “Steals all the words so you end up with no words! Like a, like a night light!”

“Oh.” Or those silent movies his parents sometimes watch where the person will scream and scream and scream, but no matter what they can’t make anyone hear them… Maybe this is why Noya’s been doing so miserably at spelling tests in school lately; this Great Fairy has been stealing all his words!

“But! She told me if you leave teeth as an offering the Great Fairy will be appeased… for like a year or two!” Noya guesses he must have at least fifty teeth. And that’s just baby ones! With big ones he’ll have one hundred and one hundred is the exact ideal age he wants to live to.

“A tooth a year.” He murmurs, tongue prodding all his teeth to see which one will be easiest to yank out first.

“You really saved me.” The boy puffs a huge breath of air into the sky. “She’d almost stolen my own name from my head. Saeko caught her laughing with her friends on the phone saying she was taking it tonight! I was _this_ close!” He holds up a thumb and forefinger, almost pushed together, in Noya’s face.

“She can take your name?” If Noya runs into a door fast enough surely one of his front teeth will fall out naturally. A small price to pay for keeping his name safe.

“Not if I can help it!” The boy holds his tooth up again. It appears to sparkle in the moonlight. He’s so cool.

“You have to help me.” He crawls closer to the boy, indicating all the teeth still in his mouth. “We have to knock one of them out or she’ll get my name instead.” The boy gasps, leaping to his feet.

“Where’s that stick? I’ll hit you in the face!” Noya was right, standing up they’re basically the same height.

“Thanks! You’re so nice!” Noya’s family live a little far away from everyone else, but he doesn’t think that’s why not many of the kids from his school want to come home and play with him. It’s his _energy_ his mum always says, patting him on the head and telling him not to worry. _Someone will appear who matches you stride for stride, so don’t you ever slow down for anyone, okay?_  

“I’m Tanaka!” The boy puffs out his chest importantly. “Tanaka Ryuunosuke.” He holds out his toothless hand.

“Nishinoya Yuu.” Noya grabs it, giggling when Tanaka flaps their hands up and down so fast the movement wiggles along his whole arm.

“Ney, now that we have each other’s names it might be harder for her to take them from us! I’ll remind you of yours and you’ll remind me of mine!”

“We’ll have to stick together forever then?” Noya thinks Tanaka might be the someone who can match him. He’ll ask him for a race later just to check but his loud laugh and the dimples in his cheeks feel to Noya like things true friends are made of.

“Forever!” Tanaka cheers, jumping into the air with his fist closed around his tooth, aimed upwards at the sky. Noya copies him, matching the height of his jump exactly.

~ ~ ~

Someone coughs an ugly croaking sound. Noya’s brain jars when he realises it came from him.

“Ney, Ryuu?” His eyes find friendly dimples before sliding shut again. “Remember the day we met and you saved my name?” A chuckle brushes across his face.

“Is that how you remember it? I remember hitting you in the face with a stick and giving you a black eye.” That’s right; that did happen. Noya’s parents were as apologetic as Tanaka’s over the situation, both set of adults convinced their child was the instigator; Noya still firmly believes it was all the ducks’ doing.

“You still saved me.” Noya insists, wishing Tanaka could see how quiet his life was before Tanaka had turned up a few days later on his doorstep with a formal apology and two melted ice lollies. They’d drank the juice from the packets in Noya’s room, dripping pools of blue and purple all over the carpet. Noya’s bed had to be dragged over the stains to hide them from his mum.

Noya’s never told him that he was his first friend before. It seemed obvious at the time, but what if it wasn’t obvious? It’s important that Tanaka knows.

“You saved me first Noya-san.” A soft hand on his forehead before his mind falls again.

~ ~ ~

Volleyball comes after, when Noya has already reached double digits, leaving Tanaka behind stuck at nine years old. It’s only fair, Noya thinks, that he’s the older one; last month Tanaka officially etched over into being an inch taller than him. He’ll catch up to him eventually, but until then at least he’s got age on his side.

Naturally, it’s Saeko who brings volleyball to them.

“If it’s so good, why aren’t _you_ on the volleyball team?” Last week Saeko convinced Tanaka he could fly like Peter Pan if he sprinkled glitter on himself and jumped off the top stair in their house. Noya wasn’t there, so doesn’t know for certain, but Tanaka ended up with an arm broken in two places so he supposes she had maybe been lying at least a little. Of course she says Tanaka didn’t have enough faith and trust, but that’s ridiculous; no one has more faith or trust than Tanaka. Saeko waves her hand dismissively through the air.

“It’s good for you guys! It’s way too much effort for me.” She puffs up her cheeks indignantly when Tanaka fakes a yawn and rolls his eyes at Noya. “You’ll believe me when you see it!” Saeko’s already started high school and although both Tanaka and Noya have begun to suspect she doesn’t always tell the complete truth, they know that the excited glow in her eyes is anything but fake.

They tag along to her school’s next game, Noya’s fingers curling into the back of Tanaka’s t-shirt in much the same way his curl into Saeko’s. High school kids are big. And there’s too many of them. Noya’s used to being the loudest person in the room at any given moment and is conflicted by all this sudden competition. His loudness is what made Tanaka want to be his friend; what if he finds someone else louder? His fist tightens into Tanaka’s top, eyes darting around the gym at every other person. He’d fight each and every one of them, he decides.

Saeko politely elbows their way to the very front of the crowd, crashing her hip into one particularly enthusiastic person and smiling brightly at the scowl this earns her. Saeko has a smile that’s almost impossible to stay mad at for long. She ushers the two of them in front of her and Noya feels a little better about having to tip-toe to see completely over the side when he realises Tanaka has to too.

“Woah.” Noya sees the exact moment Tanaka falls in love with volleyball. It’s in the widening of his eyes, the way his mouth doesn’t really shut after he’s spoken, the slight pink dancing high on his cheek bones. Noya follows his gaze, nose crinkling when all he sees is a boy of average height landing solidly back onto the floor. “Did you see that?”

“See what?” Tanaka groans, eyes never once leaving the court.

“He smacked the ball so hard that for a second it became as flat as a pancake!” The boy with average height crows loudly into the air and Tanaka laughs, happy and bright. Noya can crow too. “It was like a superhero move!”

“A superhero move?” Noya remains unconvinced. He watches the average heighted boy for the entirety of the next play, frown deepening when he catches his superhero smack for himself. It’s pretty cool. It might be hard for Noya to ever learn how to do that.

“It’s called a spike. And he’s a spiker.” Saeko informs them from behind, failing to hold back a smug smile from taking over her face. “Our volleyball team is pretty good actually, they win all sorts of competitions.”

“A spiker!” Tanaka mimes slamming out a ball in mid-air. “I need to learn how to spike Noya-san!” Noya nods, for once unsure what to say in response.

“That guy there’s the setter.” Saeko points at a lanky boy whose hair is parted perfectly in half. His fingers are bound tight with tape.

“What does a setter do?” Noya doesn’t even need to look up at Tanaka to know he’s wrinkling his nose in confusion. It’s irrelevant to him what the setter does; he’s already decided he’s going to be a spiker.

“It’s his job to deliver the ball to the spikers, like that.” As if on cue the lanky boy lunges over the court, arms stretched up and flicks the ball towards another player.

“Huh.” It’s not the spiker from before, but it’s clear the ball went exactly where the setter intended for it to go. “So he helps the spikers?” Noya squints, trying to work out if he’d be able to do that thing with his wrists like the setter did. If setters helps spikers, and Tanaka wants to be a spiker, then Noya will have to learn to be a setter. Then they’d be the best team.

“He helps the whole team.” Saeko smacks him gently across the back of the head. “Volleyball is a team game; everyone is equally important!”

“Yeah! But not everyone’s equally as cool!” Tanaka cheers, jumping up on the side when his superhero spiker returns into the play, face set and arms outreached for the ball. But he misses. By at least an arm’s length from the angle Noya’s at. He doesn’t seem upset, doesn’t even look to the ball that’s zipping behind him.

And that’s when Noya sees him. A shortish guy covered in freckles and wearing all orange. It’s like he appears from the spiker’s shadow, eyes filled with the ball in front of him. He keeps the ball up at the last second, sending it in a small arch back to the spiker. Who still isn’t looking. It’s like he doesn’t even have to. Like he just _knows_ the freckley orange guy is there to catch the ball if he misses.

“What position does he play?” Average height turns back to smile at freckles only when he’s slammed the ball onto the other side of the court. The whole team cheers. He ruffles freckles’ hair and Noya thinks it’s obvious he’s the coolest one; it’s like he’s their last defence.

“He’s the libero,” Saeko hums, “oh and the guy behind him is a blocker.” She continues to rattle off the positions of all the players she knows, adding small asides about what year they’re in and how many matches they’ve played, but Noya doesn’t care. He’s already decided. If Tanaka’s going to be a spiker, then he’s going to be his libero. It’s his job to always protect Tanaka after all.

~ ~ ~

“Hey?” Noya reaches out a hand into the dark, knowing that Tanaka will understand what he wants. His fingers slot in between Noya’s slowly, softly.

“Hey.” A soft voice to match, that no one else would ever believe came from Tanaka. People always think he’s much rougher than he is.

“’Member the first time we watched volleyball?” Tanaka’s hand squeezes his.

“You’re getting awfully sentimental on me here, Noya-san.”

“I’m allowed to aren’t I?” It takes all of Noya’s willpower to crack his eyes open to catch the soft look taking over Tanaka’s face. He rarely denies him anything and given the circumstances Noya has no doubt he’ll humour him now.

“I guess so.” Tanaka smiles, thumb stroking over the back of Noya’s hand.

“I wanted to be libero so I could help you.” Noya’s never told that to anyone before. Not his mum, or his dad, or even Saeko. His parents mostly thought he’d chosen that position because of his height. And when asked why he’d always shrugged, mumbled something about how it’s the coolest position as it’s the libero’s job to save his team, when what he really meant was it was his job to save Tanaka.

“What?” Tanaka’s eyebrows dip into a frown, as if he’s confused; Noya couldn’t have told him any simpler than he already has.

“You saw the superhero spiker,” they never did meet him in the flesh. He still owns all of Noya’s irrational jealousy anyway. “And you wanted to be a spiker.” He tries to shrug but his body doesn’t obey him.

“Yeah,” Tanaka’s knee shuffles a little under him as he ducks down to get a closer look at Noya’s face, “and then you saw the libero and said _he’s the coolest_ ,” he uses a strangely lyrical voice to imitate Noya. It kind of reminds him of the voice he uses when he pretends to be his own girlfriend. “And that was that!”

“Yeah,” Noya hums, nodding his head slightly, “because he helped the spiker.” Noya’s eyes remain open long enough for him to watch the gears slowly turn in Tanaka’s head until comprehension dawns.

“You wanted to help me?” He utters, face a beautiful shade of pink before he flops almost completely in half to hide his embarrassed wail in the crook of Noya’s neck.

~ ~ ~

“What if we don’t make the team?” Tanaka whispers at him, uncharacteristically shy. Noya tightens the hold he has on Tanaka’s hand.

“That’s dumb. We’re obviously going to make the team.” Since that first match they’ve watched dozens more on T.V., squashed side-by-side under the kotatsu in Tanaka’s living room as Saeko points at the plays she wants them to learn with a stick. For someone who doesn’t play she’s awfully invested, Noya thinks. And a very good teacher. He doesn’t actually know if he and Tanaka would have thought to look up any of the real rules without her. And she printed them off their own training regime using her school’s computers, a red one for Tanaka _because he’s a dragon_ and an orange one for Noya _you said you were gonna be Karasuno’s libero, right kiddo?_

“But, what if we don’t?” Noya tugs on Tanaka’s hand to get him to look at him instead of the daunting closed door in front of them.

“We’re going to make the team.” He repeats, voice slow and steady so that the words sink in properly. “That’s the plan.” They’d both applied to come here for that sole reason. There’s no other option, no Plan B. Besides Tanaka has natural volleyball talent. He’s definitely ace material. More so than the average height kid they’d seen the first time. “Right?” He cocks an eyebrow challengingly.

“Right!” Tanaka slaps both of his hands over his cheeks to fire himself up and struts up to kick the door open. Noya smirks, running after him, and feels full of confidence. Of course they’re going to make the team. They _have_ to make the team. Noya’s played for his middle school team the last two years and it’s been fun, cool even. He’d managed to find a few players on his team he’s on friendly terms with and a handful of high schools even wrote to him expressing interest for him to join their team. But he had a plan that involved playing on the same side of the court as Tanaka.

“Good afternoon!” A boy with silver hair springs in front of them, happy smiles and friendly aura. “You’re here for try-outs?”

“Yes, sir!” Tanaka screams, blush rising at the way silver-hair giggles into his hand.

“I’m Sugawara Koushi. Second year. Setter.” He holds out his hand, smile brighter than before.

“Tanaka Ryuunosuke!” Tanaka grabs his hand eagerly. “First year and future ace!” Sugawara giggles again. It’s kind of cute, Noya thinks. Tanaka looks over his shoulder and grins at Noya as he steps forwards to take Sugawara’s hand next.

“Nishinoya Yuu! First year–”

“Libero.” Sugawara finishes for him. “I saw your team play in the finals last year.” He shrugs like it’s not unusual for him to be scoping out middle school volleyball finals in his spare time. Maybe it isn’t. He doesn’t say anything else about it, so Noya has no idea if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that Sugawara has seen him play before.

“Noya-san is a _genius_!” Tanaka raves; he’s always been Noya’s biggest cheerleader. “He’s gonna be a starting player for sure!”

“Not as good as Ryuu!” Sugawara’s eyes dart between the two of them clearly amused but polite enough not to interrupt. “He’s the best ace _ever_!”

“ _Ever_ , hmm?” Sugawara raises an eyebrow and looks Tanaka up and down in a way that would normally raise Noya’s shackles somewhat, but for some reason doesn’t. It’s hard to feel threatened by cute people. “Well, you’ve got your work cut out for you because we already have a third year ace and Asah–”

“Suga!” A heavy hand smacks Suga on the back. “We’re going to put the first years up against you, Sawamura and Azumane, okay? We’ll rotate them in threes.”

“Yes, Captain.” Sugawara smiles a little regretfully. “Guess I’ll see you on the court. Good luck!”

“My work cut out for me?” Tanaka echoes at his retreating back. “That doesn’t sound good, does it?” Noya elbows him in the back.

“We’re going to make the team!” He hisses, just loud enough for Tanaka to hear, and manhandles him over to the starting line where a coach is assembling the first years.

Tanaka and Noya don’t get arranged into the same group of three. The captain thinks _it’ll be fun_ to have them grouped by their height and even pats Noya on the head when he tells him he’s the shortest. Noya doesn’t like him. It would have made more sense to group them into threes based on what positions they want to play.

The two other shorties are evidently nervous, and one keeps glancing at the door as if he’s going to make a break for it at any possible moment. Noya has his doubts that they’ll be able to beat the second years.

They bow to each other. Sugawara winks at him through the net. The guy on Sugawara’s left looks like he could kick Noya into next week with one leg his muscles are so big and the guy on Sugawara’s right is a tall kid who kind of looks like he wants to escape too. Noya decides he doesn’t really care if he’s beaten by them – if they lose it means the team is strong and Noya doesn’t want to join a weak team – he just needs to impress them enough to get on it.

The coach blows the whistle. The thigh guy is serving first and he hits the ball hard and fast, but Noya’s spent hours leaping after Saeko’s crazy serves as part of his practice regime – she’s all power and no aim – so he manages to receive it. Tanaka whoops from the side-line and Noya can’t help the smirk that unfolds across his face. Nervous boy number one flails an awkward serve to nervous boy number two, but he manages to spike it over the net so it’s not entirely tragic. Sugawara meets it on the other side as if he was waiting for it and flicks it back behind him. The tall kid jumps, Noya braces, not really expecting much after thigh guy’s serve – the tall guy isn’t as buff – only to blink and miss the spike entirely. He feels the ball rush past his head. He hears it bounce onto the ground behind him. But he doesn’t see it at all. The tall guy lands, hesitant and apologetic. Noya wants to smack him.

“What’s your name?” He yells, surprising himself. He didn’t mean to speak that thought out loud, but now everyone is looking between the two of them curiously, Sugawara the only one amused by the situation.

“A-A-Azumane,” he stutters and it takes a lot of effort on Noya’s part not to leap over the net and shake him. How can someone so powerful – so _good_ – be _such_ a limp noodle? It’s devastating. “Azumane Asahi.”

“Azumane-senpai!” He flinches away from Noya’s loud voice. Noya’s used to that, so it doesn’t deter him. “I’m going to get the next one!” Tanaka and the thigh guy burst into laughter, along with a third year who has really awful bedhead hair who’s watching from the other side.

“Ah! Uhm.” Azumane looks around the gym helplessly. “Okay.” Noya growls and steps back into position, nodding to his nervous team mate to toss the ball back to the thigh guy already. He’s going to receive at least one of these superhero spikes. And he’s going to make the team. And then he’s going to beat confidence into this guy if it’s the last thing he does.

~ ~ ~

They make the team. Naturally. A soft kid with floppy hair called Ennoshita also makes it out of Tanaka’s trio and two other kids from the third trio, but neither of Noya’s nervous shorties make it. The Captain, who still hasn’t offered up his name despite bedhead poking Noya firmly in the forehead and announcing he’s Hojo-senpai and thigh guy introducing himself as Sawamura Daichi with a rumbling voice and a high-five, lines up all the first years and essentially pushes those who don’t make the cut away. It’s rude. And unnecessarily hurtful. Noya really does not like him.

But they make the team.

Tanaka screams it into the sky as they run home – Saeko had promised she’d let them eat as many dumplings as they physically could if they made the team so their hurry is understandable – and Noya’s so happy he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. He sausage rolls down a few hills on their way and cartwheels when that doesn’t get rid of the electric feeling zipping along his spine. Sugawara had told them what time to arrive for practice and Hojo had told them they’d be rotating first years around to see if any of them had starter potential. The captain had snorted, _yeah right_ , because he’s the ace, they have a third year setter and middle blocker and Hojo is their libero, but Noya doesn’t care if he’s not a starting player. Because tomorrow there’s a chance, for the first time ever, that he’ll get to play on the same side of the court as Tanaka.

~ ~ ~

"Oi,” Noya doesn’t have to speak very loudly to be heard with the way Tanaka’s still buried into his neck, “remember the first time I kept the ball up for you?” Tanaka snorts.

“I got so excited I forgot we were in the middle of a match and threw you into the air after I’d spiked it.”

“You’d scored a point.” Which Noya had thought was the most amazing thing at the time, watching the ball slam down in front of their captain’s startled face had made it even sweeter.

“We’d scored a point.”

“Yeah,” Noya agrees, wondering if he’s going to cry – he definitely shed a few tears when it had happened – “We”.

~ ~ ~

Karasuno is the first school they go to together. This fact surprises a lot of people, especially kids in their classes who get used to Tanaka showing up outside Noya’s room every day at lunchtime.

“Noya-san!” He screams, more often than not, “hurry up!” They race to the cafeteria every day, the loser buys lunch, and then they race to see who can eat the fastest. It’s a tradition of sorts. Noya tends to win because he’s had years of practice scarfing down lunch as quickly as possible; no one’s ever wanted to eat lunch with him before.

“Gross.” Ennoshita watches the two of them with a blank face and only one bite gone from his sandwich.

“You say that everyday Chikara!” Tanaka jostles him in the side with his elbow, stray pieces of rice falling from his chin.

“Because it’s always gross.”

“Didn’t anyone teach you manners?” Kinoshita asks in the nasally voice he uses when he’s pretending to be Ennoshita.

“We’re in school, not a pig pen!” Narita joins in, deliberately placing his chopsticks down and eating out of his bento face first.

“I could eat somewhere else.” Ennoshita mumbles, ears a little pinker than before, “if I’m too annoying.” Noya likes Ennoshita the most out of their new friends because he voices all the scared thoughts that skip around Noya’s head. Maybe he’s not used to having friends to eat lunch with too.

“Nah!” Tanaka loops an arm around his shoulders. “We’re just teasing! You know we love ya!” And it’s not the first time Noya’s felt that strange swoop of admiration twinned with longing he gets when Tanaka’s physically close to other people, but it’s the first time Noya really understands it.

It settles slowly in his stomach as he’s sat wedged between Narita and Kinoshita, watching how kind his best friend is as he pinches Ennoshita’s cheeks until they’re as pink as his ears and he’s coaxed a smile from him. _Oh_. Because Tanaka’s always been his brand of perfect. It makes sense that other people gravitate to his dimples and laughter. He feels warmth spreading through him, leaking to the very ends of his fingertips. _I like him._

“Probably I always have.” He mutters at the weird sunglasses wearing orange that’s dancing across his juice box.

“Have always what?” Tanaka blinks across the table at him, arm still slung across Ennoshita. Of course he’d be the only one paying enough attention to Noya to hear him.

“Chosen this juice ‘cause it’s Karasuno orange!” He beams, showing all his teeth and holds the juice box in front of his face as he pretends the weird sunglasses wearing orange is their new mascot.

~ ~ ~

Noya must have dozed off for a moment or an hour or a day, he doesn’t know. But suddenly there’s a set of shoes shuffling about behind his head that he doesn’t remember being there.

“T-T-Tanaka-senpai?” Ah, Hinata. He’d recognise that wobbly voice anywhere.

“Mhm?” Tanaka hums, fingers slowly combing Noya’s hair upwards. He probably looks like he’s been electrocuted.

“Is Noya-senpai okay?” _Silly Shouyou,_ Noya tries to tell him, _I’ve never been better._ But he’s kind of tired and he feels too warm to move with the sun on his face and Tanaka right here next to him.

“Mhm.” Tanaka hums again, quiet enough that it even strikes Noya as a little strange; Tanaka isn’t quiet by nature. “He’s just napping for a bit.” There’s a pause in Hinata’s shuffling and for a moment Noya thinks he’s going to retreat to wherever he came from, but instead he feels him plop onto the ground at his side and release a puff of air into the sky.

“I bought him some juice. Well, actually Kageyama paid for it and Ennoshita-senpai told me to get orange because it’s his favourite, but I cycled to–”

“Thanks Shou-chan!” Tanaka barks a happy laugh, fingers leaving Noya momentarily to ruffle up Hinata’s hair. When they float back down to fluff through Noya’s fringe they feel even warmer than before.

~ ~ ~

Noya’s never been great at keeping secrets. He likes to think it’s because he’s never had much practice; an only child with no school friends doesn’t get given many secrets. So he decides almost as soon as he’s realised he wants to hold Tanaka’s hand and face and blow raspberries into the soft bit of his belly and probably kiss his dimples if he thinks about it too much that he should tell Tanaka. They’re best friends. Best friends aren’t supposed to have secrets.

Only he can’t tell him the moment he realises because they’re at lunch with their friends and Noya doesn’t really want them to know. And he can’t tell him after lunch because they’re not in the same class. And then they’re getting changed for volleyball practice so there isn’t really time to weave it into the conversation, so he guesses he’ll have to tell Tanaka as they’re walking home, which is kind of a Classic Confession anyway – and _oh_ , is this a confession? – and Tanaka has always waxed poetic about Classic Confessions, but then–

“This is Kiyoko-san,” Chishu, their vice-captain and starting setter announces, “as you know we were looking for a new manager since Tokaji-senpai graduated last term and Sugawara managed to convince her to try-out. She’s going to be acting as our manager from today. Please treat her well.” He ducks his head formally and Noya copies mostly out of habit, even though he does want her to feel like part of the team too. Out of the corner of his eye he notices Tanaka hasn’t bowed.

“Oi,” he tries to whisper to snap Tanaka out of his daze only to realise how pink in the face he is. “Wha-?” He follows his line of sight. Kiyoko is noting something down on her clipboard, hand moving so elegantly across the page Noya can almost see how pretty her handwriting is. He looks back at Tanaka, who swallows and shakes his head a little and _oh_. Well. They always have been in-sync, Noya supposes, it makes sense they’d find someone they like on the same day.

“Bro.” Tanaka turns to stare at him, eyes raking over his face. A smile curls at the corner of his mouth. “ _Oh?_ You too!” He laughs quite happily, running a hand through the scruff at the back of his head. “I hope my face isn’t as red as yours, Noya-san! You’re so obvious!” Noya splutters.

“Hey! Your face is _twice_ as red as mine!” He barrels into him playfully. Tanaka charges back at him, cackle bouncing off of the gym walls even as coach barks at them to start warming up already.

On their walk home Tanaka sighs wistfully into the sky, his hands joined behind his head, and talks about all the cute things he’d noticed about Kiyoko today.

“Her mole is pretty.” Noya supplies when Tanaka looks down at him expectantly. And he’s not lying. He doesn’t think he could lie to Tanaka. Kiyoko is very pretty, probably the prettiest girl he’s ever seen before, and yet he doesn’t feel like he wants to hold her hand or her face or blow raspberries on her or even kiss her mole, despite how pretty it is.

~ ~ ~

“Bro?” Noya whispers in Tanaka’s general direction, not waiting for a response before he blurts. “I’ve never wanted to kiss Kiyoko-san.” Not now. Not before. Not ever.

“ _Bro_.” Tanaka’s voice floats up, stunned in the air around them. _I’ve wanted to kiss you though_ , Noya imagines saying, _now, before, forever._ “Me too.”

~ ~ ~

Noya eyes Tanaka carefully as he fumbles with the straw of his juice box, missing the hole several times before he gives up, rests his forehead on the bench he’s tucked himself under and sighs meaningfully. Ennoshita leans over his back to put the straw in for him, rewarding himself for his kindness with a sip or two and then placing it next to Tanaka.

“You okay there baldy?” Narita bumps his shoulder into Tanaka’s when he takes a seat next to him on the floor, leaning his elbows on top of the bench like it’s a table and smiling when a muffled whine of _you’re bald too_ echoes up from the crook of Tanaka’s inner arm.

“Oi,” Noya kicks him. Not too hard, but hard enough that Tanaka rolls to rest his chin on the bench surface to blink up at him. “Want some? I can’t really eat it all on my own.” He smirks as he breaks his melonpan in half, tearing it slowly down the middle. He knows it’s Tanaka’s favourite. He’s started to buy it on his way to school just as an excuse to let his fingers brush against Tanaka’s when he shares it with him.

“I’m too sad for melonpan,” Tanaka pouts, rolling his head onto his side and peering at Noya expectantly. “Which means you have to feed me!”

“Right, right!” He pinches off a fist-sized ball of melonpan and wedges into one side of Tanaka’s mouth. “You look like a hamster.” He tells him cheerfully, tearing off another section to stuff on the inside of his other cheek.

“A bald hamster.” Narita adds, hiding his laugh behind a cough when Tanaka glares at him.

“An angry hamster.” Kinoshita whispers, appearing over Noya’s back.

“I’m not angry.” Tanaka scowls, swallowing his melonpan audibly and opening up his mouth for more. “I’m…” he hums for a moment.

“Sad?” Kinoshita guesses.

“Smad,” Narita nods, “that’s mad and sad all in one.”

“I’m _dejected_!” Tanaka moans across the top of them.

“Woah, nice word bro!” Noya holds a hand out for a fist bump.

“Dejected?” Ennoshita has been busying himself with his shoelaces and it’s only now that he seems to consider Tanaka might be serious for once. “Why?” Tanaka’s scowl dips lower on his forehead.

“Saeko.” He mutters darkly.

“Nee-san?” Noya blinks down at him. Saeko doesn’t spin as many tales as she used to, but she still gets a kick out of annoying her little brother whenever she can.

“It’s not _really_ her fault,” Tanaka concedes almost immediately, rolling his head back into the bench, “she just reminded me.”

“Reminded you of…?” Kinoshita leans further over Noya so that all of his weight is pressing down. Usually Noya might try to fight him off, but this gives him an excuse to squat down in front of Tanaka. They’d be eye to eye if he wasn’t still moping into the bench top.

“It’s Valentine’s day Thursday! _This_ Thursday!”

“Ah.” Tanaka’s eyes appear suddenly, wide and miserable as they search Noya’s face.

“I see.” Ennoshita pats his back fondly. “And you’re worried you’ll get no cards, is that it?”

“Chikara!” Tanaka jerks, anguished and red in the face.

“What? Is that not it?”

“Of course that’s it! But there’s no need to spill it out there so heartlessly!” Tanaka head-butts the bench a few times in quick succession.

“Don’t worry about it!” Noya all but screeches. He tries to remember if Tanaka was this upset last year when he didn’t receive anything, but his mind draws a blank. He can’t really remember. After school he’d gone to Tanaka’s because Saeko had sent him a message saying she couldn’t eat all of her chocolates by herself and it was Noya’s duty to help. So they’d ignored all their homework to stuff their faces with chocolates and watched _Battle Royale_ because Saeko insisted it was romantic.

“Yeah!” Narita agrees, flicking Tanaka in the side of the head. “None of us will get anything!” Tanaka whines as Kinoshita breaks into giggles and high-fives Narita over his head.

That isn’t what Noya had meant. He’d meant Tanaka shouldn’t worry because there’s no way someone doesn’t want to give him a Valentine’s. He tries to think of the girl’s in Tanaka’s class, but truth be told he never talks to any of them unless he’s asking where Tanaka is. And Tanaka hasn’t mentioned that he finds anyone in his class cute, or even that he messages them. What kind of things would Tanaka even message a girl about? Ennoshita stands up abruptly and pushes Kinoshita off of Noya’s back.

“Stop squashing our libero all the time,” he flaps a hand in Noya’s direction, “he’s gone all red.”

“Oops,” Kinoshita grins sheepishly, holding his hands up in surrender, “sorry!”

~ ~ ~

Maybe it’s because it’s been a constant thought rattling around his head that Noya notices it.

“Asahi-senpai!” Azumane, all towering six feet of pure unmasked terror slams his locker door shut. It almost snaps around Noya’s nose. “Who was that for?” He could have pretended like he didn’t notice. Except he did notice. And this is _Azumane_ , his awkward, frail senpai who just yesterday cowered in a corner because Valentine’s day makes him feel nauseous.  

“Who was w-what for?” Azumane stumbles over each word, eyes darting about everywhere but at Noya’s face, as if he’s hoping Noya will pretend he didn’t see and forget the whole thing. There’s a quiver in his shoulders and a blush around his eyes, so Noya knows he’s more annoyed at himself for getting caught than for Noya catching him, and decides not to forget it.

“That Valenti–”

“ _Shut up._ ” Azumane’s hand slams over his mouth, glancing around frantically to see if anyone has overheard them. Noya stares right back at him, defiant, and then opens his mouth to drool all over Azumane’s hand. He lets him go with a shriek. “Noya!”

“So,” Noya blinks as innocently as he can, “who’s it for?” He indicates the shut locker door with a bob of his head. Azumane seems to contemplate it for a long moment, mouth pursed shut into a thin line. “Kiyoko-senpai?” 

“What?” Azumane looks at him, bewildered. “No.” The blush starts to bleed out across the rest of his face and he holds a hand over the bridge of his nose to shudder in a breath or two. It occurs to Noya that Azumane could just lie. He could wave a hand dismissively through the air and tell Noya it’s for some cute girl in his class. Or some cute guy. Whichever.

“You don’t have to tell me.” He decides, reaching up to thump Azumane on the shoulder comfortingly. He would really hate it if people started to lie to him, especially his limp noodle ace. Azumane doesn’t open his eyes, or even acknowledge Noya’s spoken when he whispers.

“It’s for Yui.”

“Ah!” Noya’s air leaves him in a surprised rush. “Really?” He squeaks. Michimiya is cute. Noya’s only met her once or twice when he’s bumped into the second years around school. He knows she went to the same middle school as Sawamura and is on the girls’ volleyball team. It wouldn’t surprise Noya at all to see her receive dozens of Valentine’s tomorrow – she has a really great laugh – it’s just surprising to imagine Azumane’s soft blue card poking out from the pile.

“Yes. Really.” Azumane peeks his eyes open, begging Noya not to say anything.

“Asahi!” He swats at his shoulder again. “You’re so cute!”

“ _Shut up!”_ Azumane’s gone back to holding the bridge of his nose and taking in controlled, measured breaths.

“I won’t tell anyone.” He promises. And he means it. He’ll even try his hardest not to tell Tanaka. After all this isn’t his secret to tell. Azumane regards him for a moment and then nods once.

“I know. I wouldn’t have told you otherwise.” Noya is filled with the urge to jump up and dig his knuckles into the top of Azumane’s head, but he squashes it away. It might ruin the moment. “She’s upset because she thinks she won’t get one.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. As if he makes Valentine’s for all his friends so that they won’t feel left out. Completely no romo, just shut up and enjoy the gooey friendship feelings.

“ _Asahi!_ ” Azumane jerks, clearly not expecting Noya’s sudden outburst. “You’re a genius!”

“Uhh–” Azumane’s eyes grow wide as he looks at Noya uncertainly.

“You’re the best senpai!” Noya jumps up so he can ruffle Azumane’s hair, making sure to sweep enough into his eyes so that he can’t see – it’s more amusing that way – and takes off at full speed as soon as his feet hit the ground again.

~ ~ ~

“ _To the ace of my heart_ ,” Tanaka’s smile is bigger than Noya’s ever seen. “ _You’re the f9nest ace on the team!_ ” He laughs, warm and light and Noya really wishes he could tell him he means this for real.

“Because you’re shirt number nine and I’m number eight so that’s why I signed it from your mate like that with the number eight instead and didn’t sign it bro like I do on birthday cards and–”

“Noya-san,” His babbling dies in his throat as Tanaka’s arms scoop him up like he weighs nothing at all, squeezing him tightly. “Thank you.” Noya nods into the crook of Tanaka’s neck, nuzzling himself closer. It’s nice. Like this he can almost pretend that Tanaka likes him back.

~ ~ ~

“Y’know,” Noya begins conversationally, smiling when Tanaka jolts up.

“You’re awake!”

“I have your Valentine’s card for next year all planned out.”

“Huh?” Tanaka’s face flashes pink at the same time Ennoshita groans. Noya hadn’t even noticed he’d come back.

“’Cause Kazu and Kageyama have our old numbers.” Tanaka snorts.

“So you can’t recycle the word plays then?”

“Don’t need to.” Nishinoya tries to spread his arms out wide but his arms feel weirdly heavy and his head buzzes with the effort so he settles for a feeble peace sign. Tanaka’s eyes flash with worry but he doesn’t say anything. “I already have the new one all thought out.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” Noya closes his eyes, wondering if that will help the buzzing go away. “You’ll have to wait though, I’m not going to spoil it.” Something cool presses onto his forehead and it occurs to Noya that maybe Ennoshita had run off to get this cool thing and hadn’t just disappeared for no reason.

“I’ll always wait for you.” Tanaka’s fingers smooth out the cool thing softly and Noya has the sudden urge to laugh. He can’t wait to see Tanaka’s face when he reads _High-5ing always leads to 4king._

~ ~ ~

They wander back to Tanaka’s after their hug. Saeko had told them yesterday they better be prepared for the chocolate haul she was returning home with so Noya isn’t surprised to find her sprawled on the living room floor with the chocolates already laid out around her.

“Oi oi,” she jumps up when she sees them, dragging Tanaka into a headlock and digging her knuckles into his skull, “who’s that from then?” Tanaka and Noya both realise at the same moment that Tanaka’s still holding his card. Their eyes lock.

“The best _mate_ in the world!” Tanaka answers gruffly, face flashing red as he flaps a hand at Noya. Saeko’s hand stills.

“Ah,” she pauses for a second, “I should have guessed Nishi-kun wouldn’t let you come home empty-handed! The bromance of the century ladies and gentleman!”

“Shove off.” Tanaka has to use both arms to push her away. She cackles into his face and starts kicking him towards the door.

“Go fetch us some drinks lil bro! Then we can start the movie!” Tanaka grumbles under his breath but goes obediently anyway. Saeko cranes her neck until he’s out of sight and then fixes Noya with a blank expression. “ _From your best m8_.” She deadpans, holding up the card for Noya to read as if he didn’t write it himself. He didn’t even notice her pinching it from Tanaka.

“I–” Noya starts. Saeko raises an eyebrow and Noya feels as if all the air has been sucked straight out of him. _She knows_. “Don’t tell him!” He panics, not really caring that he’s folded under the smallest amount of pressure ever. “He’s– He’s–” Noya throws his arms out wide, encompassing the whole room. _He’s my best friend_ , he wants to tell her, _my first friend. He’s the reason I play volleyball and go to Karasuno and don’t eat lunch alone in the toilets anymore._ “He’s my someone.” He finishes lamely, because that’s what his mum had replied when he’d confessed his crush to her. Then she’d kissed the top of his head and made him a hot chocolate. Like she’d been expecting this all along. Saeko steps forwards to scoop him up into a hug.

“Nishi-kun,” she breathes in his ear fondly, “he’s so lucky to have you.” She steps back to tug his cheek before Noya can correct her; it’s him who’s lucky to have Tanaka.

“So,” she throws herself back down on the floor and tosses a packet of caramel hearts up at Noya, “did you get any cards?”

“Uhh–”

“You did!” Saeko cackles gleefully, unwrapping a huge box of chocolates and throwing all the tissue paper to the side.

“Bro!” Noya jumps at the scandalised tone Tanaka is using as he bustles back in the room, juggling three cups precariously. “You didn’t tell me!”

“I, uhh,” Noya looks between the two of them, “I didn’t think it was a big deal.” He shrugs and settles down on the floor to wrestle a caramel heart out of the packet.

“Not a big deal?” Tanaka narrows his eyes at him suspiciously at the same time as Saeko asks.

“So how many did you get?”

“Uhm,” Noya takes a bite into the chocolate, “this is good.”

“Bro!” Tanaka flicks some water out of one of the glasses at him. “You got more than one?”

“Well,” Noya sighs, there’s no escaping this then, and opens up his school bag. He tosses the two cards at Saeko – he’s having trouble looking at Tanaka, especially since he still hasn’t sat down with them – and holds up the tiny boxed muffins in his palm. “Two and a half?” Saeko claps, tugging at Tanaka’s trouser leg until he flops on the floor inbetween them.

“Who the heck is Chiyo?” Tanaka’s nose has wrinkled in on itself. He looks like a squashed puppy.

“A girl in my class.” She has really long, straight hair and sits diagonally behind Noya. She’s kind of quiet really and Noya was surprised when she offered up a card for him, but she doesn’t roll her eyes when he gets overly excited about something and she always greets him in the morning. She’s nice.

“You’re on first name basis with a girl in your class?” Saeko coos.

“Not really.” Noya admits around a mouthful. She’d only asked him today to call her by her given name.

“What about Kiyoko?” Tanaka growls and Noya feels something queasy churn in his stomach. Of course Tanaka’s only bewildered because they’re founding members of the Kiyoko Protection Unit.

“Isn’t Sugawara a kid on your team?” Saeko cuts across, holding up the second card.

“ _What?_ ” Tanaka snatches it out of her hand and stares at the words inside. “Suga-san gave you a card?” He asks slowly, like it’s taxing for him to even be speaking.

“Yeah.” Noya shoves another caramel into his mouth. “I think it was a joke.” He’d actually delivered it over Noya’s head abruptly, singing out _catch_ as a warning and giggled when Noya floundered for it. “He said he hoped it helped.” And then he’d winked like he knew something Noya didn’t.

“Helped with what?” Tanaka narrows his eyes at the card, flipping it over in his hands like there could be hidden messages somewhere.

“I don’t know. And Asahi-senpai gave me the muffins, but as a thank you.”

“Azumane?” Tanaka stares at the box in Noya’s hands in obvious dismay. “Azumane gave you a Valentine’s?”

“Nah, it was just a thank you.” Noya tosses the box to Tanaka. “It even says thank you on the side.”

“What’s he thanking you for?” Probably for not telling anyone he was giving Michimiya a Valentine’s, but Noya can’t say that, so he just shrugs. Tanaka’s eyes narrow. Maybe he knows Noya’s keeping something from him.

“Wait,” Saeko cuts across, seemingly unbothered by Tanaka’s weird reactions, “so two guys from your volleyball team gave you pretend Valentine’s?” She rolls her eyes, evidently no longer interested. “How boring.” She places Chiyo’s card next to her and starts fishing around the pile of chocolates for the remote.

“Are you going to respond to them?”

“Huh?” Tanaka swallows, looking up to catch Noya’s gaze.

“Next month it’s white day.”

“Oh.” Noya feels himself start to blush as Saeko pointedly begins humming to herself. “Well Kiyoko is really the only girl for me…” He trails off.

“And Suga’s?”

“I think Suga was just messing with me.” It could be fun to give him something back though.

“And Azumane’s?” Tanaka’s gaze drops to the box still in his hand.

“His wasn’t a–”

“What if it had been?”

“Eh?”

“What if it had been a real Valentine? What would you say to him?” Saeko crawls away from them and starts messing with the DVD player even though Noya’s certain the DVD was already in the machine.

“Asahi-san’s cool, but,” _but I like you_ , is what he wants to say, “he’s not really my type.” Tanaka’s eyebrows furrow.

“Not your type?”

“Nope!” Noya busies himself with another caramel just so he doesn’t have to keep looking at Tanaka’s face. He’s never in so many words admitted he likes boys, or even finds them cute really. Tanaka knows he thinks Sugawara’s pretty, but he’d brought it up so that might not count as anything. He takes in a big lungful of air. “I like boys who are more like,” he gestures uselessly with his hand, “y’know?”

“Boys like Hojo-senpai?”

“ _Ehh_?” Noya has no idea what to say to that. Hojo is the only third year Noya likes really, but that’s more to do with him being a libero than anything else. “He’s pretty obnoxious Ryuu.”

“You spend a lot of time with him.” Tanaka shrugs.

“At practice.” Noya snorts. How come Tanaka seems to think spending time with someone means that you like them but he has no idea how much Noya likes him when they spend every day together? _Idiot_ , he thinks furiously, _my best friend is an idiot._

“So then, what kind of boys _do_ you like?” Saeko stops ahhing meaningfully at the DVD infolet and casts Noya a steady gaze. All he’d have to do would be to nod at her and she’d jump to his rescue. It’s nice having someone like Saeko on his side.

“I guess, kind of like Sawamura-senpai, maybe?” He has muscles like Tanaka, but he can be a little too serious at times. He can’t imagine blowing raspberries on Sawamura at all. “Or Chikara, he’s cute.” Definitely not as positive as Tanaka is, or as loud, but he’s soft and kind like Tanaka. “Oh! Kazu!” Narita has the same hairstyle as Tanaka. Noya’s always wanted to run his fingers through Tanaka’s fuzz but that’s not something friends really do to each other.

“So…” Saeko hedges, eyes jumping between Tanaka and Noya, “now we all know Nishi’s into buff baldies, can we watch my movie?” Nishinoya nods and crawls a little closer to Tanaka to grab a glass of water. He can’t be certain, but he’s pretty sure he hears Tanaka mutter _buff baldies_ as the opening credits start to roll.

~ ~ ~

Tanaka's been treating him weirdly. Differently. To anyone else it might be hard to notice, but not to Noya. He's stopped hooking their ankles together under the table at lunch like he used to and he's only been dragging Noya along by his wrist half as much as before. He even jumped away surprised yesterday when he realised he was holding onto him. Noya thought that maybe he was thinking too much into it at first, but then it starts to spill over into volleyball. Whenever Hojo has dragged Noya away to give him some libero pointers suddenly Tanaka is there, growling and insistent he needs Noya for practice. Azumane asks once if he wants to practice receiving some of his spikes and Tanaka cuts across with a sharp  _maybe tomorrow, he promised he'd help me with mine first_ , which is a little weird considering Noya didn't actually make that promise. They normally walk home together, at least until the road splits and they have to go separate ways, but even then they'll end up at each other's house for dinner most nights. It's been four days since he had dinner with Tanaka.

“Nishinoya, Narita, you're on clean up duty today.” Kajitani, their captain announces. Noya only knows his name because he wheedled it from Hojo. Apparently he thinks it's a scare tactic to not give his name out to his kouhai. He also thinks it's a scare tactic that the first years who played the worst each day should be on clean up. There's no rota, no order, just whoever Kajitani feels like picking on on any given day. He always pretends he's reading off of notes on a clipboard, like he's been paying attention to the progress they've been making which annoys Noya even more. Sometimes on days when he's really noticed Ennoshita making massive improvements Kajitani will still scream his name at the end of practice. 

“Don't mind,” Kinoshita gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze, “you did well today.”

“Yeah, he's just a massive arse.” Narita mutters out of the corner of his mouth, waving politely to their captain as he saunters out of the room. He bumps Kinoshita with his knee and loops both his arms around Noya's neck. “Get going already, we've got this!” Narita yelps as he's forcefully dragged away from Noya. “ _Hey!_ ”

“Don't worry about it Kazu,” Tanaka's voice really doesn't match the polite words he's using, “I'll take over for today.”

“Oh...” Narita's eyes flit between the two of them. “Alright, thanks!” He shrugs at Noya before taking off after Kinoshita and Ennoshita. They watch the door shut behind him. Neither of them speak.

“You're being weird.” They've never had a real fight before. They bicker about which games to play and what films to watch and if they should go out at the weekend or just make a fort in one of their bedrooms and pretend that they live in an age where homework doesn't exist and once, years ago, they had an almost argument about who was cooler out of the two of them that ended with Noya losing balance, toppling off the side of his bed and landing on top of Tanaka. They agreed they were the coolest to each other after that. So Noya really,  _really_ hopes they're not about to have a fight. He doesn't know what he'd do. 

“I am not.” Of course it doesn't help that Tanaka's a stubborn idiot. 

“You are too.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not! And you can't say  _are too_!” Tanaka points a finger at Noya like he's won, smug smile and triumphant expression.

“I miss you.” Because it's been days since Tanaka's spent any time alone with him, Noya's only just realising this now. 

“I,” Tanaka's mouth opens and closes like a fish, “I'm sorry. I've just been busy.” He averts his gaze, staring solidly at a wall.

“Busy doing what?” He hopes that Tanaka's just fallen into a new shounen manga and is embarrassed about it. Maybe he's even discovered another shoujo. Because the alternative, that he's busy being best friends with someone else hurts too much for Noya to think about. 

“Just,” Tanaka rotates a hand in the air, “thinking about stuff.” 

“ _Thinking about stuff?”_  Noya blinks. He wasn't expecting that at all. “Thinking about what?” Tanaka's eyes snap back to him, wide and dumbfounded, as if Noya's being purposely dense and  _oh_ , he's been thinking about Noya, about how “I like boys.” Tanaka makes a strange sound, kind of like a whine, but he doesn't offer up any kind of protest. “Right.” Noya nods. “Well, sorry if that's a problem for you.” Noya steps away,  _don't cry_ , he urges himself,  _do not cry._

“Noya-san-”

“Uhm, actually,” he can feel himself shaking, “I have to get home now.” And he runs.

For the first time since he started Karasuno, Noya walks the whole way home alone. It isn't until he's at his doorstep that he realises Tanaka didn't try to call out to him a second time. Or try to stop him. And he left him to clean-up the gym all on his own. 

~ ~ ~ 

He doesn't go to school the next day. His mum allows it because he's never had a day off school before so she must guess it's serious. She arrives home from work an hour earlier than usual as well, a box of bleach in her hands. She bleaches her whole head a soft ginger, so Noya thinks she's just giving herself a top-up until she dangles it in front of him, begging to let her give him a make-over.

“It will help with your heartache.” He grumbles and tries to deny it but she’s always been the wisest person he knows and she sees right through him. She fixes him a hot chocolate and instructs him to sit on the edge of the bath whilst she mixes the liquid up. “Sometimes something as small as changing your hairstyle can really give you that boost you need!”

“You’re starting to sound like an advertisement again.” She tugs on his ear for that comment, but doesn’t refute it. For the last few years she’s been working for a local magazine writing beauty tips and the agony aunt column. It takes her an hour or two to fall out of character when she’s home. She combs his fringe straight down onto his forehead and then slides a piece of foil underneath.

“You’re going to look so handsome.” She tells him as she brushes gloop through his hair.

“Ma,” he rolls his eyes but the effect is kind of lost behind the foil. He waits until she’s satisfied and has folded his hair into the foil before he voices his thought. He’s been thinking about it a lot this past week. “What if I’m not the someone of my someone?” She tips his chin up so she can look him in the eye.

“Then they’re not your someone.” She decides eventually, stroking his cheek soothingly. “I should have put marshmallows in your hot chocolate,” she adds as an afterthought, as if she hadn’t realised this was a marshmallow kind of situation. Noya snorts.

“Thanks ma.” And if he has to tuck his head back down to rub a few tears from his eyes, well, that’s just another secret he has to keep.

They wait for the bleach to work its magic and then his mum washes his hair for him and even blow-dries it. Noya can tell he’s being spoilt; he’ll make it up to her another day.

“How about we watch a movie together!” She tells him when she’s finished, planting a kiss into the top of his head. Out of the corner of his eyes Noya can see the orangey strands of his fringe. “And check yourself out in a mirror!”

Noya stares at his reflection. It’s different. It’s kind of cool. Like a lightning bolt. Maybe he should think up a new special move to go with it. He puffs out his cheeks. It definitely makes him stand out more. If he wasn’t wearing his warm, fluffy pyjamas it might even make him look older.

“Yuu! Can you get the door? I think it’s your father!” Noya thuds back down the stairs, bypassing his mum as she heaps huge spoonfuls of marshmallows into some freshly made hot chocolate. He wonders if his mum has told his dad they were bleaching his hair. Probably not; she likes surprises almost as much as Noya does. He throws the door open wide.

“Tada!”

“Noya-san?”

“Ryuu!” Noya balks, mouth hanging open.

“I, uhh,” Tanaka scratches the back of his head, curiously nervous, “sorry, were you in bed?” Noya shakes his head.

“We were just gonna watch a movie.” It’s not even seven. Tanaka knows Noya doesn’t get to bed before midnight because he’s usually on the other end of the phone messaging Noya memes.

“I brought you your homework... Oi,” Tanaka startles, squinting a little, “did you dye your hair?”

“Wah!” Noya takes a step back into his house to get better lighting. “Yeah! Well, ma did it.” He blows a puff of air into his fringe, watching the orange edges floof and fall. “Does it look weird?”

“No.” Tanaka coughs, stepping closer to Noya and plucking a section between his fingers. “It suits you.” He lets go of Noya’s hair slowly. “It looks really cute. You’re really cute Noya-san.”

“Ryuu?”

“I, uh, I made you something.” He doesn’t step away from Noya. There’s only a breath of air inbetween them.

“Oh yeah?” Noya’s heart thuds in his chest. He’s not sure if Tanaka’s aware of what he’s doing to him, but his face is turning pinker by the second so he must at least have _some_ idea.

“Yeah.” A soft smile. Noya’s heart surges into his throat. “Yeah.” Tanaka looks away from him only to shuffle an envelope out of his pocket, his name is scrawled across the front in Tanaka’s goofy handwriting. “It’s a little early,” he admits sheepishly, “but keeping it to myself makes me feel like I could explode at any moment, ya’know?” Noya turns the envelope over in his hands. It’s white.

“Ryuu?” He tips his head at an angle and blinks up at Tanaka.

“Stop that!” Tanaka moans, pressing a hand into Noya’s face. “It’s my response.” Noya ducks out from under Tanaka’s hand to stare at him. His face is completely red now and if Noya wasn’t trembling quite so much he’d definitely tell Tanaka how cute he’d be as a tomato. He shudders in a breath and rips open the envelope in one fast motion. It’s a handmade card. With a badly drawn picture of the two of them on the front. A strangled sound leaves the back of Noya’s throat.

“ _Ryuu!”_ He reaches out a hand to try and tug Tanaka to him, but Tanaka stays where he is, steady on his feet.

“Read it first. _Please._ ” Noya nods and peels open the card. There, in Tanaka's ugly, wobbly writing:

 _Do you want to d8 me? Please circle yes or no._ He’s even badly doodled Noya’s shirt around the number eight.

“Ryuu!” He screams and throws himself at Tanaka without thinking. Tanaka catches him. Of course he does. “You’re my someone!”

“Is that a yes?” Tanaka sounds breathless, but he’s warm and chuckling and his arms are holding Noya close to him.

“That’s a _hell_ yes!” Noya squeezes his legs tighter around Tanaka and lunges up to plant a kiss on his jaw. “I want to blow raspberries all over you!”

“Yuu,” his mum pops her head around the corner, smile as bright as Noya’s feels on his face “is Ryuunosuke-kun staying for the movie?”

~ ~ ~

Someone coughs, but this time it isn’t Noya so he takes it as a good sign. He opens his eyes to find Tanaka, still there, still watching over him.

“Do you want to date me?” Tanaka groans. “Please circle yes or no.” A hand prods his belly and then Tanaka draws a slow circle around his bellybutton.

“Yes.” He says plainly. “Hell yes.”

“Forever yes.” His hand finds Tanaka’s, still resting over his belly button. “You fell over before our first date, do you remember? Pfft, you looked so stupid!”

“Oi!” Tanaka pinches his side.

“Everyone saw.” Noya reminds him. They planned for their first date to be after practice that weekend. It had been a little icy on the roads and Tanaka had skidded into a lamp post and collapsed onto the floor.

“Noya-san–”

“You really scared me!”

“Noya-san–”

"I thought you were gonna die!"

“Noya-san–”

"But I guess it's me that's dying, huh?"

"YUU!" Noya blinks, stunned into silence. Tanaka heaves in a weary breath, a delightful blush settling across his cheeks.

"Ryuu! You’re so cute!” Noya wants to kiss him.

“You’re not dying you dork.” He leans over to stare into Noya’s eyes, just a little bit closer and Noya could definitely steal a kiss or two. “You just cartwheeled down a hill and head butted a bike rack.”

“What?” Noya blinks. “I’m not dying?” Weird. It had certainly felt like he was dying.

“You think I’d let you die on a curb in the street?”

“You don’t always get to pick these things Ryuu,” Noya points out reasonably, “besides it’s nice and warm with you here.”

“Maybe Daichi-san was right and you do have a concussion.”

“I do not!” Noya tries to wriggle his way into sitting up. Now that he’s been told he’s not dying he does feel strangely refreshed. Tanaka helps him, framing an arm around his back and scooching him forwards so that Noya nestles neatly into his lap.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Tanaka glances around them and points up the hill to where Hinata and Kageyama are bickering over pork buns. “Who are they?”

“Shou-chan and Kageyama-kun,” Noya answers, affecting an important voice, “the oddball first years.”

“Right and who’s that guy?” He jerks his head to where Ennoshita has fallen asleep using his school bag as a pillow.

“Chikara!”

“Correct! And who am I?” Tanaka raises an eyebrow. Noya snorts, thinking back to when Tanaka had smashed his head into the lamp post and awoken dazed and confused, blinking at Noya as if he was surprised to find him there at all. _Ryuu_ , _do you know who I am?_ Noya smiles, heart soaring, and echoes Tanaka’s own answer right back to him.

“My boyfriend.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this entire fic was ~loosely~ based off of a chunk of text from ch. 18 of my kurodai fic:
> 
>  
> 
> _"It wasn’t until earlier this year when Tanaka had slipped on some ice, head-butted a lamp post and landed on the floor, blinking slowly at the faces peering over him that the nature of their relationship came to light. Noya had been overly concerned about the possibility of Tanaka getting a concussion, kneeling by his shoulder and demanding to know who he was. Tanaka had looked at him, face fond and pink from more than just the fall. My boyfriend. It had been as simple as that."_
> 
>  
> 
> just in case it sounded curiously familiar ! i'm such a sad act i fanfic my own fanfics apparently  
> ＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)_


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